I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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