I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize