She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
