He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
