cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
