Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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