rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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