What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
