Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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