Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
