meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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