Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
