Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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