I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
