I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize