Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
