how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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