that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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