Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
