If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
