In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My cat gives me a boner
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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