in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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