i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
