Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You have to summon your inner elephant
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
