my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
