listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
