Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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