i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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