And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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