i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
