We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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