I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
