Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize