i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
