I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize