just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
