those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
