Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
