Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
