dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
