I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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