I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
