Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
