I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
vagina is talking i cant
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Randomize
