Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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