Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
