just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
