lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
