Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
