he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
