Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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