After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
