her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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