i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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